Just now, the day is dimly lit and so quiet. The boxer and the soft gray cat have had their breakfast. Christian is leaving for work . . .and the Christmas lights are shining brightly.
Morning is one of my favorite times. Oh! What lofty notions come to me in the morning. I start out contemplative and reflective. I think of my loved ones-even those long passed. In this way, I remember them. I suppose this is a kind of tribute. The gifts they gave me, have lingered all of my life, after all. . . . and then, suddenly, I am planning tasks . . and supper!
The little rabbitpatch is now, decked out for Christmas. There are little fairy lights on boughs of cedar at both entrances, several wreaths and solar lanterns hanging in unlikely places. The cowbells that adorn the crepe myrtle, are tied with long ribbons and look as merry as anything. The little house on Bonnet Street, is not the only place full of Christmas spirit-so is Mamas’ house.
My sisters and I met there on Monday . We” decked the halls”-and put up the tree. We had a good meal and Mama made Delores, her favorite cake for an early birthday celebration. Niece Hayley is now engaged! so we threw out some wedding ideas for sister Connie . . and we planned a birthday trip for Mama in February! It was lovely time, altogether.
Back at the little rabbitpatch, Christmas music wafts through the house softly-and almost constantly. I like the old carols best. There is such an over abundance of distractions from the holiness of Christmas, so I take what measures I can, to avoid the worldly clutter. . . and there is so very much clutter.
I have always tried to stay focused on the spiritual meaning of the holiday, but this year especially, I have ramped up my intentions. Truthfully, I regret having not celebrated with any gumption, the past two years. Grief, busyness and loss , now seem like lame excuses to dismiss such a holy time. This year, I will do better.
I went to Elizabeth City, this past weekend. How good to see “the littlest women” in the family.
Brynn was sick with an awful something, about the whole time. Oh, how tenderly she was cared for. Jenny had pineapple juice, chicken broth and honey on hand at all times. Lyla brought water and a soft Christmas blanket, whenever Brynn whimpered.
One day, Lyla and I took Aunt J, some special treats. On the way back, we took the long way, to see Christmas lights. I hope we can do that again before the holiday season ends. When we got home, Lyla made a “wish on a star”-it was really Venus and I told her, but she decided to take a chance and wish anyway. I did too. . . .just in case. She did not wish for a toy . . .and neither did I. To me, that moment was a bright, silver one.
On Monday, Brynn still had the hacking cough, but her eyes were bright and her little cheeks had a rosy glow. Jenny kept Brynn home because of that cough. I left on Tuesday, for I had to work on Wednesday.
Saturday was a happy day. Tres and Sarah are spending Christmas in Florida with Sarahs’ family. Sarahs’ parents are so excited. Sarahs’ mom has already sent pictures of some mighty fancy baked goods. I could just feel her joyful excitement as I saw the pictures. In light of this trip, I hosted my first occasion at the new rabbitpatch. We had a brunch. Tres, Sarah, Mama and Kyle came- and Christian came after work. I finally used my Christmas China and how lovely the table looked! It was a simple, but extra special way to spend the day.
Another thing . . .and if folks laugh as they read this, I will not take offense. The first rabbitpatch, is under contract-again. If I sound less than enthusiastic it is only because, I am. I certainly hope to sell it . .and maybe, the third time is a charm after all.
Just now, I am going through the motions, as if it really will transpire, however, I am well versed in how quickly things can change, in general. With that in mind, I have developed the awful art of second guessing everything. It is tiring and since truthfully, there is really no certainty to anything under the sun, it is a fruitless practice. I am questioning my lofty notions, that I have dwelled on for a few years now . . or are they sensible ideas? Somedays, I feel overly cautious, on how to proceed- certain that calamity is just around the bend-other times, I feel like following my heart (or my gut) certain that I am on my course.
Now, everything, that has ever knocked the wind out of me . . . I never saw coming. The things that robbed me of appetite and sleep . . .well none of them ever happened.
When peace seems as fleeting as a flock of sparrows, I remind myself of that. Surely, I am one of Gods’ most fickle servants!
While I was pleading-or whining, in my prayers, I asked God outright to let me know SOMETHING! In about three minutes, a small rabbit hopped down the sidewalk and right in the “plum House” yard!
It was the first time that I had seen a rabbit since, I left Farm Life. I haven’t a clue, what to make of it. . .if anything . . but it was something. It seems. looking back, that many times, my answers are veiled and do not come to light til later on. Time will tell, as it always does.