The eve of the new year dawned quietly. The sky simply became a silvery blue. Nature, that does not keep an account of time, as man does, did not give mention that this day was any different than yesterday. Nature just goes about its’ business.
In many homes, folks are decorating and fixing fancy foods. Guests are expected and the midnight hour is highly anticipated. None of that happens at the rabbitpatch. New Years’ Eve is a quiet, reflective time for me. I am likely to re examine the past year, by thinking of all the blessings it yielded. I will consider my actions in the face of challenges and hope to do better next time. I will also do laundry and carry the trash out.
I do not make specific resolutions about things like a better diet or exercise. Far be it from me, to join a gym or give up bacon. I lack the fortitude, for such things. I wish I could start a savings account, but the truth is, I have lived on a shoe-string budget , most of my life and unless something changes, I will in the new year, as well. Even in my youth, I shied away from resolutions. I see them as promises and I felt awful when I broke a promise even to myself. . . so now, in my “late afternoon” years, I tread cautiously, when it comes to making resolutions.
Rest assured, as I review the past calendar year, I do not come up empty handed. I see much room for improvement. I take in to great consideration, what things gave me joy, in the long run. These are the things, I want to increase. What things resulted in satisfaction ? -these things I want to increase, too. I must also take in to account what caused me sorrow and what to with that. I suppose, in short, I am really thinking about the quality of my contributions to myself and others. That is a lot to think about. It would be much easier to just join a gym.
Some things went ever so well, last year. I adopted several habits that lessened my impact on the planet. At long last, I now use reusable bags for shopping. I use shampoo bars, instead of those packaged in plastic. I use bamboo straws, in summary, I try to avoid plastic altogether.
I started living as minimally . That was a pleasant surprise, for I really had no such noble intention. I had big plans to move. In doing so, I decluttered as I packed. I thought long and hard about what would really go with me. What did I need?-and what did I care for? I could not believe how much went out of the old farmhouse. I had a good size truck load or two to donate and at least one load of trash, for “moth and rust doth corrupt’. I felt like a burden had been lifted . . .and I still do. It goes without saying, that I strive to not be wasteful.
And now, I have run out of commendable things. How quickly that went!
The account of things hoped for is much more lengthy. I really hope to be full of mercy this year. Oh, that I would never hold a single thing against anybody. When I am tempted, I must remember myself, first and not dare to pick up a stone. Next, I must remind myself that I know nothing about anyone elses’ journey, really. Poor behavior, I think most always derives from fear-fear of not having enough, or being loved or powerful enough and so on. How can I fault anyone, hindered by fear, when fear has been no stranger to me?
Certainly I want to be more generous and certainly, I need to pray more. I want to love more -and dream bigger. I want to live my own truth, wholeheartedly, short comings and all. This may be the grandest quest of all, and I seriously wonder if this may not also be the grandest gift we ever give. . . to ourselves . . .and to God.
No doubt, I will need all 365 days to begin anew, every dawn and every twilight -and each day . . to hope, again . . . for better. Mankind can keep a record of years and days – and the hours that are the substance, of them . . .but it is of little consequence . . .for a new year begins every day, and thankfully so.
Chances are, that fireworks will ring out in the countryside tonight. The years that I have been awake, I have watched them in two different directions. They always set the dogs to barking. I have never known of a dog yet, that liked fireworks.