Gathering Flowers and Baking Bread

At long last, I have been able to visit my grandchildren.  One weekend, I went to Elizabeth City.  Another weekend, Mama and I went to  Raleigh.  It is with gladness, that I can write, all is well, with  our family. 
Lyla is growing up, right before my eyes-and I am still shocked!  She has lost several teeth now and does not have a single ounce of “baby fat”!  She reads books!  She will be a seven year old, in April.  Oh, these golden, shining seven years , have zoomed by.   . .cruelly fast.  Little Brynn is still cherub like.  She loves to pick flowers.  Jenny said a dozen dandelions were in her book bag yesterday.  One day, she and I took a stroll by the laughing river  She learned the names of several flowers and bushes.  . and has been using them in conversations.  Ryan hasn’t grown an inch, but he is bright and agile and sweet as any pie, ever made.  I introduced him to Bob Ross, while I was there.  That was an instant success.  I also read “The Tale of Mr Jeremey Fisher” .  It was a favorite of his Dads’-and Ryan loved it, too..  He retold the story, with many details, afterwards. 
Seeing my grandchildren, acted like a tonic on me.
Days are mostly mild now and showers are liable to pop up. . .quite fitting for this time of the year.  I wouldn’t yet plant tomatoes, but there is no harm in thinking about it.  The geraniums still come in at night, sometimes. 
The very small yard has clumps of green grasses in places, that are growing in an uncivilized manner.  There are songbirds now, singing sweetly-and a small community of squirrels making hasty decisions, as they avoid cars and folks.  That is about all the “wild” going on . . on Bonnet Street.  I have seen the rabbit a time or two more.  I wonder how he likes sidewalks.   .  for, I fear, I am “homesick”. 
Maybe, it is because of spring’s arrival-maybe, it is the “sidewalk”. . .but, whatever it is, I just can not deny it.  I miss the countryside with its’ big sky over the old trees.  I miss seeing the sunsets, and rain coming across the fields-and the millions of stars that are hidden by street lights.  The sight of the moon, and its’ milky light, falling through the windows , is an awful loss.  Then, there are the whispering pines and the dainty violets along the garden path-and maybe, most of all -is the quiet sound of the territory.  Silence . . that is often only broken by the mocking birds, and at night, the whip-poor-will calling out.  I no longer care, that the grocery store is just minutes away.
 It was bound to happen.
Now, I am sensible enough to know, that we do not always get what we want.  I know that I can have happiness, wherever, I abide.  I know the farmhouse is big and needs big repairs .   . . and I am just like “that old gray mare”,  as well.  There are a lot worse things going on in this world than a homesick heart-and I remind myself of that, when I am whining about fields and trees and birds.   . . .but, I have found that it is best to be truthful at all times. I know that, too.   
After thinking about such things, I realised that it seems to be a lack of encounters with nature-wild things in wild places -and solitude, that bother me most.  Even a small , sleepy town is just too civilized, to suit me, it seems.  I suppose, that to me, there is just not enough liberty in a town, as well.  God forbid ,the trash can is not properly placed! 
 In spite of all this . . . something wonderful has happened.
  I know more about myself, than I ever have known.  In some way, when you know what aggravates you, you discover what you love.-and what you need. 
I liken it to , when I moved into the house on Bonnet Street. Some boxes did not make the move. 
I had to sort through and figure out what things  meant the most.  The truth is for now, I am here , on a small lot in a small house, surrounded by friendly folks, with a sidewalk a few  short paces from the porch.  Since ,I believe  that experiences are  the “great lessons” in life,  I am not a bit sorry.  Instead, I must seek beauty in new ways. 
The other day, I scavenged the yard for little wildflowers, to press. (I have several projects in mind to use them)  In those moments, the world was hushed and  quite serene.   The same can be said when I am baking bread.  I find it very satisfying and besides, being better for us . . it is better to us. 
I know these things are small steps, but they are making a difference for me.  Living close to the earth and with the earth . . is all I have ever known.  All else, just seems shallow and artificial, to my primitive spirit. 
It really is much easier to live on a street in a small town-easier on the body.   Yard debris  goes to the street instead of a garden, to be burned on the rare day, when the wind isn’t blowing. Thorned vines do not thrive in “tamed” spaces, so there is no endless battle, going on.  You can order food, already prepared, to your doorstep.  If you need anything, it is just five minutes away.  I know such things are endearing to many people.   It is really  a sensible argument  . . . oh, if only ,  I was sensible! 
The last few years, I have been through one rabbit hole after another.    I have prayed and  tried to figure out  about where my next home is.  My financial situation is lacking any fanfare.  That must be considered.   . .as well as several other important matters. 
I have always had difficulty knowing when to “let go and let God” as is often said.  It seems when I have exhausted my heart and mind, is when I can “let God”-and sadly, not  a moment before. 
Until further notice, I will be listening to the gentle church bells, and gathering flowers and  celebrate, “This day, that the Lord has made”. . . .and bake.

35 thoughts on “Gathering Flowers and Baking Bread

  1. Oh Rabbit…I love you. Baking bread does wonders and I was just going through my recipes to do just that. I too saw a rabbit the other day. Even out here they seem to be few but maybe I’m just not out at the right time. The first Hummer came around a few minutes ago. Small and very dark except for the red throat and now I am glad to have hung the planter of petunias in the back porch. ….More storms coming in tomorrow but that seems to be Spring in Mississippi. Most of the early flowers are gone and my pitiful flower bed still needs major work. If it doesn’t get done I’ll have to deal with the over growth of day lilies again…Could be worse but I keep remembering my pretty space before Babe took to farming on her own. Bless her heart….she is a pain but life would be really lonesome without her.

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  2. How I wish I could add you to our list of neighbors! Although we don’t have the big expanse of a farm, we live out from town and never crowd each other. We also have plenty of rabbits! I hope you will find another rabbit patch that will satisfy your heart-longings.

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    1. Two of my friends-wonderful folks have downsized and moved to Avery County. They do not even know one another . . yet. My son Tres, is looking for land in the mountains now! I think a neighborhood would be an upgrade from a city street. Who knows, Sweet Anne-we could become neighbors one day. I would be thrilled. x Michele

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  3. Such a lovely post…as always! it is wonderful that you seek beauty wherever you are. That is a gift, and you are wise to act upon it. If our hearts are open to new things, we often find joy in unexpected places. I pray you continually find wildflowers and sunny patches in life. I believe they will find you as well! 🙂

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  4. I don’t blame you for being a bit homesick for your lovely farm house. I think the adjustment you’ve made will simply take some time to get used to. Meanwhile, enjoy those grandchildren! And maybe plant some more wildflowers in your yard?

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  5. Of course you are homesick for the countryside! Change is hard as we get older, yet your change has been ‘meant to be’, as if God had His hand in where you should be. Best to you, Michele. Keep enjoying the beauty around you.

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  6. Oh Michele, your words are so beautiful. Like you, I’m not “sensible”. I love my little house in my small community; and feel exactly as you. I’m so happy to hear that your grandkids are doing well! It is balm to the soul to visit them, I know. There really is beauty all around us when we stop to see. I believe the issue lies that we love the openness of the wide country and pastures. The calling of our ancestry to the old-fashioned ways of days gone by. Like you, I love the conveniences. But am limited to how far I can go and especially with my grandkids being in the states of Alaska and Washington. Alas, I leave it in God’s hands. I open up my hands each day to the blessings he is going to bestow on the right here, right now, in this place. Keep being an inspiration to us! I just love your words!!! ❤️

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    1. One of the sweetest comments, that I ever read-thank you for your kindness and wisdom. The wide expanses are such a factor for me. And i realise after reading this, so is the ancestory . . .what a blessing to understand this about myself. Thank you so much and best wishes to you and your sweet home! love Michele

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      1. Sweet Michele, you’re so welcome. I’m so glad it touched you. I feel as though we share similar souls. Thank you for the blessings. Love, Karla 💛

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  7. I enjoyed every word but it sounds like the Country Girl is coming through. I am sure you will figure it out with the Good Lords help!

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  8. Dear Michele, my heart aches for and with you. Homesickness can be so very painful. I love that you have plants on your porch, and that you are planning a vegetable garden.
    Your visit to your grandchildren sounds lovely. We are blessed to have family, whatever else is happening. Maureen xx

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    1. thank you Maureen. I am feeling better, thank you. Many other things are going on, that I couldn’t mention-but I know, all will be ok and I have more to praise than to complain about. I must remember that. Thank you again and blessings to you. love Michele

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  9. My greatest leap of faith started from a 4 x 6 back porch in a fairy garden. There was more Mother Nature to see, when I was down on the ground with the Squirrel’s eye-view. Big changes here too – and same sidewalk outside the door – I think it would be safe to walk there, most any night. I’m still waiting for that big rabbit patch of all possibilities… we’re bound to be a step closer, if that’s the dream we hold in our heart. At least we’re MOVING. LOL JUMPING HOPPING!!! love you, Debra

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    1. I would love to hear about your new home-I am sure all is well. You would always be in the right pace. Really, I am too. You made me realise that- Thank you for reminding me. I get the porch inspiration. God speaks a lot of languages! love Michele

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  10. I grew up in a small town but have lived in the country for more years than I lived in town. I think I would find it hard to move back to a small town….not impossible…but hard. I would miss the dark velvet sky studded with stars at night (we do not have a yard light). I would miss the sounds of the country. I would also have to start baking because I love that and I could do that anywhere. Praying for a settled heart for you Michele and blessings to be found wherever you are.

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  11. Oh Michele, I am so sad you have left your Rabbit patch. You have taken me out there many a times, and shared the cakes and its recipes. I have missed you so much. I am up for surgery again tomorrow. I took up writing again. It has taken me awhile to bring up the courage to write about my recent ordeal but it is helping. It is helping read from favourite blog as well, especially today. I have to say I am a tad bit nervous

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    1. I recently caught up on your blog-and wow! what a scary time! You have had a lot to deal with the last few years-I so hope things settle down for you. I am concerned about the state of your beautiful country-Stay safe my friend.

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      1. Thank you Michele, I am recovering from the surgery slowly. A bit too slow for my liking. Not able to properly type on a laptop as yet. But hopefully soon. Yes scary stuff happening to my home country. But to a certain extent the youth over there are giving hope for unity. But not sure how far their resistance would work against the corrupt government.

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  12. Never remove anything from the “maybe someday” list.
    If not for our dreams and inner desires, we never would have built these lives filled with such beauties in which we can revel, and on which we can reflect.
    Following each precious day is a tomorrow, filled with yet-unseen wonders of its own.
    Dream big.

    Love,

    Scott

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