Lyla Starts School . . and Rabbitpatch Business

The past week has been anything but dull.  Plenty has happened . . .but everything pales in comparison to Lyla starting school. 
I was there, that day.  Lyla was so excited that she hopped right in bed , the night before earlier than usual without a single complaint!  The next morning, she popped out of bed, before sun up.  She was so merry and I had to play along, but my stomach hurt and my eyes stung.  Brynn slept through the whole thing. 
The school is but five minutes from the house.  Lyla chattered, and Jenny reminded Lyla to be kind, helpful and respectful . . and to wash her hands.  I was stoic and said things like “Oh, there is the playground!”  as if, nothing momentous was happening.  She got out of the car, and  I watched her growing smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror.  Now, I could cry, for you all know that I am overly sentimental. 
I left Elizabeth City just after lunch, for I started school, the next day myself.  This year, I am working in a reading program.  Books are dear to me and I love them as much as I love music.  Oh, I hope to inspire the students to embrace the love of reading and to recognize fine literature.!  I have been quite nervous though, for it was like starting a new job, to me.  I am happy to announce now, that the first week went well and I think that I may love this new place along my journey. 
Brant, Sydney and Ryan came on Friday night.  We all spent the night at Mamas’.  Ryan is as adorable as ever and says whatever he wants to.  My boxer, Cash came too and right off, Ryan said, “That’s a big dog.”  rather matter of fact like.  He was delighted with “Nanas’ box of trucks, cars and tractors.  Brant remembered several of them.  Ryan also loved the same keyboard that Christian did, as a child.  The boxer laid beside him as he played. 
Once I was in the den, reading one of the books for school, and from the kitchen, I heard the lilt of   the voices of my loved ones carrying on in conversation from the kitchen.  How happy I felt and realised, that was something else, that I loved. On Friday evening, when stars were filling the sky, Sydney took Ryan  out to see them-of course, I was quick to follow.  I remembered Daddy showing me the stars and pointing out the constellations, in that very same yard.  Daddy was not a good teacher at things like math, but he was wonderful when it came to trees and birds and sky.  He was never impatient with those subjects. The next morning after breakfast, Brant and Sydney went to see other family.  I stayed with Mama for there was  a ruckus at the rabbitpatch! 
I did finally and officially put the house on the market and ever since, there has been a steady flow of folks coming to see it.  The house must stay perfectly clean at all times and the yard too!   . . and me!   . . .and the boxer!  With the place at its’ best and the “sea of lavender” blooming, it is a bittersweet time.  I walk around the yard and wonder how I can leave it and so I tell myself, “the barn is falling down.”  I remember those sweet years that the house was full . . and I say to myself . . .”the place is empty now”  I look at the stables where the little goats slept and I say . . “now you have grandchildren.”  I remember all the very hard work and remind myself, that I am older now.  I have less money now too and that is a factor. 
I know, it makes good sense to move  . .but my heart has never been sensible.  I console myself, that I have had the gift of living here and   in some way , have been preparing a gift for many years , for the next family.  I often talk about living simply and how I ought not to take such stock in “stuff” .   I stand by that philosophy . . but I admit that I am still smitten with the old drafty house and the old trees and the patch of young woods.  I try to remember those hateful thorn vines to snap me back to reality.  I can  not do for the rabbitpatch what it needs.  I must’nt be selfish, but I know that I will miss it.  We all miss some one or some thing or some place.  If we do not, it is because we never loved-and that would be more tragic. 
Somewhere, there is  a lonely little rabbitpatch just waiting for me to tend it.  I am sure it will need roses and an apple tree!  I bet there will be vines to cut and I will want a clothes line and geraniums.  I hope there are shelves for my books and neighbors to bake a pie for, ever so often.  Where will I put the Christmas tree?  I must write a poem  right off, and Christian will play his music-any rabbitpatch would want that.  The boxer and the gentle cat will need a cozy corner.  . .and best of all, the grandchildren will run in the door shouting “Honeybee!”. . .and so I will love again. 
I have often thought that imagination is vital for the soul.  When we are wondering, what may befall us, we ought to imagine something wonderful instead of gloom and doom.  Besides, we probably all have a story, where something that seemed dreadful happened, and yet, it turned out to be ok-or even better for us. 
The only thing that I know for sure is no matter how things turn out . . .I will  be expecting a “very bright silver lining”.

28 thoughts on “Lyla Starts School . . and Rabbitpatch Business

  1. Oh, Michele! This post really did bring tears to my eyes. I am with you in spirit as you begin the next phase of your journey. Just as your new job has proven to be a delight, I’ve no doubt you will find a dear little cottage, small enough for you to take care of but big enough so that your beloved family can join you from time to time. As for Lyla…starting school is one of those milestone moments that also brings tears to the eyes. But out into the world they must go, to learn and to grow.

    XO
    Laurie

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you Laurie-So far so good with Lyla. I m still missing that time “before” school. Thank you for the inspiration about some little cottage. I must keep that thought in my heart or else I will surely lose my footing! This is harder than I expected. Your comment is lke a cheer for me! thank you-love Michele

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  2. Dear Michele, such a momentous week! Putting one’s home of many years on the market takes great courage, and you have that in abundance, but I felt teary when I read that you had taken the big step. I hope the sale happens quickly, you find a darling new home to love and the transition takes place smoothly. Your new job sounds wonderful. Another brave step. Congratulations! I look forward to reading more about your adventures. Maureen xx

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    1. thank you Maureen Helen, for your sweet wishes. I sure do not feel brave, for some days, I am downright scared! I know though, that I am not in this alone-and that makes the difference. Your words filled me with hope-thank you so much. x Michele

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  3. Dearest Michele, I read your words as much for you as for me. If my heart aches at the practicality of having to sell this rabbitpatch of your youth and later years, I cannot imagine how you must feel, having loved it as you have. But you’re right, there will come a time when love for a place cannot compensate for the times when the same home can overwhelm you. You would hurt even more not being able to keep up with the loving it requires. While you still can, perhaps a new hearth to call your own will be the right thing for you.

    For a new dream to bloom, sometimes an old one must go to its rest.

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  4. No way. How can Lyla be starting school? It seems only a couple years since she was born!

    Humans have a natural penchant for hanging on to things as they are. Good or bad.
    Change can sometimes be difficult, yet it is not only necessary, but often healthy and invigorating.
    So many new adventures unfolding for you simultaneously.
    Excitement and discovery await you!
    And who better to find and appreciate them?

    Love,

    Scott

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    1. Dear Scott, I am in quite a state now- I must regain my composure and act sensibly. your words are so trusted-that they help me tremendously. One day, I will laugh at myself for being so foolish about selling a house . . but not today.. Today, I am scared and full of dread. I know this will pass but until then, tell the sparrows that they ought to show up in abundance! love Michele

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      1. Remember more now than ever that you do not walk alone, my friend.
        Peace is searching for you.
        You will find one another when the time is right.
        Sending sparrows, and Monarchs, too!

        Love,

        Scott

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  5. Glad your new job is going well! Many changes are bittersweet. Leaving a house you’ve lived in most of your life is hard. No matter how one might rationalize leaving, we know we’ll be leaving a piece of us behind. But your optimism that you’ll be creating new memories elsewhere is wise. All your loved ones will fill that place just as easily. A new adventure!

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  6. Lyla looked so happy on Facebook waiting to go to school . I’m so glad you are enjoying your new place at the school . You will be wonderful no matter what you teach . Hoping you will find that all the changes in your life will be for the better .

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  7. I’m so happy that your new job started off nicely. You are going to impart your love of reading to a wide audience.

    I will grieve when you leave the old Rabbit patch, but you will write about the next one with warmth and love. It will come alive and shelter many dearly-loved people.

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  8. Change can be good, like a granddaughter’s first day of school. Or it can be hard, like the loss of a loved one. But often it’s somewhere in the middle, sort of bittersweet, and I think that is what you are describing with putting your beloved home on the market again. Yes, it’s time to move on and there will be good things for you in your new house and good things for the rabbit patch with a new owner. But it’s still hard to leave all those precious memories behind. I loved that last line, because it’s so true: there will be silver linings in this, I’m just sure of that!

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  9. Michele, you are the poster child of a bright silver lining. Yes, taking care of the Rabbit Patch will continue to be harder as you get older, and those pleasures can now come to roost in a (hopefully) new Rabbit Patch. Please keep us posted on what happens. I (we) care! I’m sooo glad you love your new job! Good things come to good people, and things happen for a reason. Bless you!

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